equivocations | open rp post

With someone as handsome and kind as Wanyin? Of course he is only hoping for a chance. He melts into the touch, tilting his head into Wanyin's hand and arching a little into him when he skims across his arm fins and waist.

"I will not ask you to share anything with me that you do not want to. But... I will always listen, if you do." His hand strokes down Wanyin's thigh and back up again to his ass, tracing absent patterns over his skin and kneading at the muscle.

"I have found it lonely, sometimes, being the sect heir. There are expectations you must live up to, the fear of not being able to, and no matter how friendly I am with our disciples or how much I enjoy their company, there is... a distance, because of it."

He doesn't know if that is anything close to how Wanyin feels, but he cannot expect Wanyin to share about himself without doing the same. And Lan Xichen hopes that if anyone could understand, it is Wanyin.

"The distance is good. As long as the disciples respect you and know that you have their back as they would have yours. They'll know you to be the steady rock on which they stand with."

He reminisces on their own Jiang disciples, how the people of their sect and the pier happily get along with the Jiang family. He looks at Xichen and relaxes in the water, knowing that the merman wouldn't let him drown.

"Sometimes...I feel as if my father prefers...my shige over me. He dotes on him so much, lets him get away with far more than anyone else. My mother hates it," he says quietly. "There's rumors that swirl around, have been for so many years, that he--" He scowls. "That my shige is actually--" Jiang Cheng frowns deeper at the rumors. How it doesn't make sense. Not...but not with how angry his mother gets. That feels almost like an admission and betrayal without so many words.

Oh. Lan Xichen smiles at that, slow and pleased, looking at Wanyin as though he has just plucked a star from the sky. He likes that, likes the equality and loyalty that Wanyin speaks of, likes the idea of being a steady presence, comforting and protective. If this is the manner of sect leader that Wanyin will be, then Lan Xichen has chosen very well.

He pulls Wanyin a little closer when he relaxes, twining his tail around him a little more and settling him so he can take more of his weight and hold him up better in the water.

Ah. Wanyin doesn't have to finish for Lan Xichen to guess what kind of rumors those are.

"Even if he was, a good father should never act in such a way. What kind of man cannot see how such behavior affects his wife and his children? The fault is with him, not with you." He says it with conviction, at first, but as soon as he hears it he realizes he's just insulted Wanyin's father, which is - unspeakably impolite, and certainly inappropriate for one who is trying to court him.

"Oh. Wanyin, I apologize, I did not - " His tail thrashes a little in his agitation, before he reminds himself that he is a Lan and pulls in a breath to steady himself. "I only meant that I am sorry that you have been made to feel that way, and it is difficult for me to understand how anyone could do so."

It's so strange to feel the cool slide of scales along his legs and with Xichen being so close, Jiang Cheng is very sure that this is much closer than those who court typically are. He listens to Xichen as he reacts to what he had said of his own family. A protest starts at the back of his throat but dies when Xichen stops himself and apologizes. There's a splash that catches his attention when Xichen's tail thrashes in agitation.

"...expectations could be very high, Xichen. Sometimes so lofty that people can't reach them."

It's more revealing than he's ever spoken of his own family to anyone. Jiang Chen caresses the fins along Xichen's arms absentmindedly.

"But I know that I will be sect leader some day." With that, the silent promise that he would never treat his own children like that. Ever.

So Wanyin does feel the same way as he does, about the expectations he must live up to. Or - live down, in Lan Xichen's case, or at least sometimes it feels that way, although none of the elders or their disciples would ever say so to him.

And apparently, he feels the same as Lan Xichen does about the things that could be done differently, when he is sect leader. He already knows Wanyin will be a good one, but - he doesn't say so, not yet. He has little more to go on than a few sentences and his own belief, and that is not enough to make his case.

Instead he slides his hand over Wanyin's hip, up his stomach to rest on his chest, settling over where he can feel his heart beat.

"Do you have anyone who just expects you to be you?"

He's so close and Jiang Cheng feels his heart racing and beating harder in his chest. His gaze lifts until he meets Xichen's eyes. Something about his gaze, the presence of Xichen; how tightly the merman is wound around him; allows him to feel...as if he could trust Xichen. He has so far, he could trust him more. He could easily put up a false face, ignore his question.

"...no."

Wanyin's heart races under his hand, and Lan Xichen can feel his own begin to beat faster to match it. He wonders, briefly, if Wanyin will shy away from this question as he did the ones earlier this afternoon, if he will shut him back out again after they have both already opened up to each other.

Hope blooms in his chest when Wanyin answers honestly, and, feeling unbearably sentimental, takes Wanyin's hand with his free one and presses it to his own chest, over his heart.

"Neither do I," he admits quietly. "Will you let us be that for each other? Let there be no expectations between us, no need to keep up appearances. Here you can be Wanyin, and I can be Xichen, and that is all we have to be."

Whatever Sect he's a part of, Jiang Cheng frowns, they are missing out on how wonderful a person Xichen is. His hand feels along Xichen's chest, feeling the racing heartbeat beneath that matches the rhythm of his own. He struggles with himself, not wishing to be so vulnerable, so weak, yet Xichen has seen past the towering expectations that surrounded Jiang Cheng and saw him as...just as Jiang Cheng.

"...you can call me by my birth name." He isn't sure if Xichen is older than him or younger. He seems older. "...a-cheng...if...if you want," he says quietly.

As much as he wants this, for both of them, he doesn't want to push it on Wanyin if he's not ready for it. But that - he's taking that as a yes, and his face lights up. "A-Cheng," he says, trying it out, and his fins fan out happily.

"You can call me A-Huan, too, or Huan-ge, if you want."

Fear stifles him, briefly, but - he trusts Wanyin. Wanyin would never use any information he gives him to hurt him, or his family, or his sect.

"I am Lan Huan, of the Gusu Lan Sect."

Gusu. Lan.

Jiang Cheng's eyes widen. Gusu is far. Not only that, he had heard of the Gusu Lan Sect. The cultivators from that sect are so mysterious that very few people in the world have ever seen them, let alone meet them. Now, with Xichen before him, wrapped around him with his tail and fins, he understands why they keep themselves hidden. If the world knew of their abilities...of who they really are...they would be hunted down, cultivators or no.

Jiang cheng faintly recalls a story of an ancestor that protected a mermaid. That she had gone to great lengths to make sure that her friend was protected at all costs against hunters, harpooners, and collectors. That story didn't have quite...a happy ending. But that was then. This is now. He reaches to caress at the head fins.

"I'm glad to have met you, then...Huan-ge."

There's recognition in Wanyin's expression, but that isn't surprising. They still venture out for night hunting, to help when they are needed, and even if no one knows of their true form, it isn't as though Gusu Lan itself is is unheard of.

His uncle and the Sect elders would be furious with him, he knows, and even Wangji would probably tell him this is dangerous, but he knows they have nothing to fear from Wanyin.

His head tips into Wanyin's touch, nuzzling into his hand.

"And I you, A-Cheng."

By now, the moon has risen high in the sky. Normally, he would feel a chill being in the water this late. Yet...he feels warm wrapped up in the merman. Jiang Cheng hesitantly reaches out, sliding his hand up from Xichen's heart and over his shoulders, moving even closer.

"You'll need to tell me how to court a merman," he murmurs. "I don't think they allow anyone up into the Cloud Recesses, from what I've heard. I could bring you more bao here if you want."

Strange. All of this is strange. He's being courted by a merman. A very handsome merman. But a merman nonetheless.

Lan Xichen follows suit, sliding his hand up to tangle in Wanyin's hair again.

"No, they are not." He gives Wanyin a small smile. "But we are allowed to leave, when our help is needed, or to keep up with the rest of the world and make sure word of who we really are hasn't started to spread. That is what I was doing, although my uncle does not always know how far I travel."

Or that he talks to humans, but to be fair, this is the first time he has done so.

"I would like that. We could still meet here when you're free in the evenings, perhaps? I want to know more about you, and your Sect's teachings, and I could share about mine." He leans in to rest his forehead against Wanyin's. "And I... would like more of this, if you're amenable."

"Yes. To all of it," he interrupts Xichen. "This lake is mine and...everyone knows not to come here. So you would not find anyone else that wanders here ever."

The forehead touch is the most intimate thing, he imagines. Even with Xichen's hands on more intimate places, this is the feeling that steals his breath away. Jiang Cheng licks his lips and looks at Xichen.

"You might find me boring. Or get sick of me. And my ill temper."

Though his temper has not flared up since meeting Xichen. His earlier ire with Wei Wuxian had even faded away.

"Then I will be here every day to meet you."

It is the most intimate touch he's done tonight, as far as he's concerned - although Wanyin's hand traveling up his tail to his waist had come close. But this is intentional, this is nothing but wanting to be closer to him, wanting intimacy.

Of course, he would be lying, if he pretended like his eyes were not drawn to Wanyin's lips when he licks them.

"You might find me boring, or get sick of me, and my passive nature."

Although he supposes he has not been passive at all, since he first loved Wanyin's voice so much that he decided to ignore his uncle and their elders. Another reason that it feels so remarkably freeing, here with Wanyin.

"You don't seem to be very passive at all and I've only met you not too long ago," Jiang Cheng replies easily. "You interrupted my song, talked about yourself. Even daring to race with me. Those are certainly not passive things."

They're nearly chest to chest. It wouldn't take much to tilt his face and kiss Xichen. But of course, they need to follow the courtship rules, shouldn't they? They've already broken a few just by being so physically close and entwined. Again, he should feel a chill in the air and yet he doesn't. He reaches and runs his fingers along the head fins again, fascinated by them. How would that even work? A courtship between a human and a merman from a sect that most people aren't sure existed?

His head fins twitch just the tiniest bit before fanning back out again. He should be embarrassed, but mostly he's... pleased. "You do not seem to have much of an ill temper, either. You shared your food with me despite my interference with your solitude and indulged all of my curiosity."

The thought makes him smile, and this time when Wanyin strokes along his head fins, he pushes into the touch for only a few moments before he tilts his head to press a kiss to Wanyin's palm. "Perhaps we have already started to allow ourselves to be different than what is expected of us, with each other."

Lan Xichen certainly has. But then - why not? There are no expectations for a courtship between a human and a merman, why should they not do what feels right between them?

The kiss is soft, cool. He wonders what it would feel like against his own lips.

"No one truly expected either of us to be drawn to the other," he snorts. "Wei Wuxian thinks you to be a fairy tale that could be true. He's willing to go to Gusu to even prove me wrong." He shakes his head. "He'll probably get distracted by wine and fishing and not make it to your Sect."

Jiang Cheng could hardly take his eyes off of the fins fanning out. It must be a way for Xichen to show that he likes whatever Jiang Cheng's doing. He brings his hands to where Xichen's arms, running his fingers along the fins there to see if there is a similar effect.

There's a soft laugh at that. "Even if he did continue looking, he would be unlikely to find it unless he was invited. Our entrances are sealed and our home warded."

He had thought he was used to how warm Wanyin's skin was, but under his lips it seems to be even more intense - and he wonders, how it would feel to kiss him other places, does he burn this hotly everywhere?

"If there is a precedent for a courtship between a merman and a human, it is not one I am aware of." He shivers at Wanyin's touch, just a little, fins spreading eagerly under his fingers as though trying to encourage as much of it as he can. "My uncle would say such a thing is impossible."

"Then it's lucky our motto is to achieve the impossible," Jiang Cheng replies easily.

His attention is zeroed in on the arms. He caresses where the fins join along skin and watches as the fins spread. The shiver catches his notice and he looks up to Xichen's face once more.

"My--" He stops. Would anyone notice? "...my shige would have so many questions about it. Inappropriate questions."

Oh. Lan Xichen smiles at that, pleased. "It suits you."

It is something he can see easily, with the way Wanyin has talked about how he will lead his sect. The living embodiment of its motto.

He'd found it pleasing before, to have Wanyin's attention on his fins and tail, hoping that meant Wanyin liked them, but now it crystallizes into something more as he keeps focusing on them. He feels a low tug of arousal when Wanyin looks back up at him.

"...do you have such questions?"

A warm breeze wafts through and yet Jiang Cheng feels himself shivering. He swallows thickly again. Those questions could have crossed his mind. He was too focused on learning about Xichen than focus what other effects his touches would have on the merman. How does...his cheeks redden at such salacious questions that sound much more like his shige than him.

"Does...does it feel nice to have your fins touched like that?"

"It does." His head fins twitch, a little, but he finds himself not quite as embarrassed about answering as he thought he might have been. "It was soothing at first, and then I just hoped you like them, but... it feels nice. I think, even nicer because it's you."

Not that he has much experience with people touching his fins, but he does have some, and it's never felt like this before.

His fingertips trace the curve of Wanyin's ear, and on impulse, he leans in to press a kiss to it, and another just below it.

"Does it feel nice for you, too?"

His ears aren't fins but they're sensitive to the cool touch. Heat somehow creeps up his neck when he feels the cool, soft lips of Xichen on his ear, then below it. He wonders if Xichen could feel his pulse quicken at the kisses or notices the gooseflesh that rises from it.

"Yes," he mumbles.

He puts his arms around Xichen's shoulders, kicking gently in the water as an afterthought, almost, to help keep himself afloat. Perhaps, if he's honest, to even tangle his legs around the snow white tail beneath the crystal clear waters.

Oh, he definitely notices, and he kisses his ear again before he pulls back to look at him.

Lan Xichen hums contentedly when Wanyin's arms wrap around his shoulders, and he feels his legs moving under the water, running over his tail. Feeling particularly daring, he drops his arms down, fins spread out and churning the water slightly so he doesn't have to use his tail to keep him afloat.

Instead, he lets it go still as Wanyin's legs tangle around it. The last third of it or so breaches the surface so he can press it up against Wanyin's back, a solid line of muscle underneath scales and fins draping along the back of his shoulders. His heart is beating even faster, now - it is one thing for Wanyin to be interested in his fins, in running his hands over the transitions from scale to skin, but it is another to so firmly remind him that he is not human.

"Are you-" he starts, then hesitates, ducking his head briefly before he straightens and pushes on. "I will still want to court you, even if your interest in where I am not human is purely curiosity. I understand that I am - different, than what you're used to, I will not be offended."

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