[ It's only temporary, he tells himself. If it was permanent - or should it prove to be permanent, if they do not end up returning to replace the ceramic arm with a flesh one - he would accept more help than he has. He would make allowances, he would establish a new routine and develop a system to not just make do.
But he is operating under the conclusion that it is temporary, for now, and so all he needs is to make do. He has done it before, of course. He can dress himself simply, and wear his hair plainly. He is not so proud that he feels any shame in doing so.
If he misses the ritual of doing up his hair, of making sure his forehead ribbon is perfectly tied on, well. It is only temporary.
Hearing the familiar knock makes him smile, even in the middle of his meditation, and he stands to open the door. ]
❰ meng yao smiles when xichen opens the door, though it wobbles, a little, when he hears gongzi — xichen is the only person who's ever called him that, ever afforded him even that shred of respect. xichen is the only person who would ever put himself in danger for meng yao's sake, who would lose a limb for him. it's — well. whatever it is, it's not for right now.
meng yao bows in greeting and steps gracefully into xichen's room. ❱
I hope I am not disturbing you. I wished to ask for a few minutes of your time, but I can return later, if now is inconvenient.
[ If he is honest, he will admit that the act of first coming up to Meng Yao to personally accept his gift was purposeful, intended both to reassure him and to silence the whispers of others without directly acknowledging them in the first place.
But calling him gongzi had never been. It just was, and it's easy to fall back to it even after so many years of A-Yao. It is not a loss of familiarity, only a sign of continued respect.
He would bow in return, but with one hand holding open the door and the other nonresponsive at his side, he has to settle for bowing his head, and closing the door behind them. ]
I was only meditating, and not very successfully. The interruption is welcome. Is there something you wished to discuss?
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he is not ready at all but he's gonna do it anyway
But he is operating under the conclusion that it is temporary, for now, and so all he needs is to make do. He has done it before, of course. He can dress himself simply, and wear his hair plainly. He is not so proud that he feels any shame in doing so.
If he misses the ritual of doing up his hair, of making sure his forehead ribbon is perfectly tied on, well. It is only temporary.
Hearing the familiar knock makes him smile, even in the middle of his meditation, and he stands to open the door. ]
Meng-gongzi. Please, come in.
no subject
meng yao bows in greeting and steps gracefully into xichen's room. ❱
I hope I am not disturbing you. I wished to ask for a few minutes of your time, but I can return later, if now is inconvenient.
no subject
But calling him gongzi had never been. It just was, and it's easy to fall back to it even after so many years of A-Yao. It is not a loss of familiarity, only a sign of continued respect.
He would bow in return, but with one hand holding open the door and the other nonresponsive at his side, he has to settle for bowing his head, and closing the door behind them. ]
I was only meditating, and not very successfully. The interruption is welcome. Is there something you wished to discuss?
no subject
Your headdress should reflect your status, Zewu-jun. Please allow me to assist you.